While there is no guarantee of success and failure in any career, there is an exception rule. You know what a good communicator will never be, the answer is a failure. Using the right kind of words and tone is no less than a magic trick. Do you know that friend of yours with whom you really want to talk after having a rough day or the one who simplifies a complicated situation? Yes, that one, he’s right, and encouraging words are what are technically called communication skills.
Now you may not be as natural as someone you know but there is nothing a human being can’t learn with practice. A rookie mistake people often make is they idolize someone and try impersonating their talking style. While this makes for a fun and innovative short exercise, the best way is to find your own style. The bottom line is don’t start acting like Harvey Specter if your name isn’t on the door of your law firm.
Luckily what you can do is absorb as much knowledge as you can so there is always a way for you to dominate the room. If you read all the books mentioned on the list by the time you are finished, you’d be the person who can talk to anyone about anything.
1. Games People Play by Eric Berne
To be a good communicator you need to have an essence of a psychologist. There are at least two people involved in the activity of talking and the first step is to figure out your crowd. If you can catch a few things about someone right off the bat you are already ahead hence there is a chance of you saying all the right things. Games People Play will give you an excellent insight into what goes on in people’s minds. Even if making the communication skills good is not your goal you should purchase this book to become the mind reader. We all want to know when someone is lying to us or if our crush likes us back, so give it a read and know what are those games that people play.
2. Difficult Conversation by Douglas Stone
Why aren’t most people good communicators because they are afraid of getting caught in a difficult conversation? If you get nervous just by the thought of saying the wrong thing or getting in some sort of confrontation then read Douglas Stone’s Difficult Conversation. If you are someone who always seems to end up arguing with the other person then this book will really help you in understanding your core issue. You will get an insight into where the issue lies and will help you gain perspective. To learn the art of effective communication, buy this and never end up in a sticky situation again.
3. Just Listen by Mark Goulston
What most people often forget while researching about communication is that is just not about talking. Listening intently has an equally important role to play. People who don’t listen carefully can never improve their speaking skills. These are the kind of people who often end up in arguments with others. Arguing often indicates that you need to improve your people’s skills and make your communication skills good. Read this book and you’ll know why is listening as important as talking if not more.
4. How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
There is no way for you to make your communication skills good without reading this classic by Dale Carnegie. For decades the biggest business tycoons, motivational speakers, and orators have sworn by this book. The best thing about it is the book will always leave you with a new teaching every time you read it. If you are a beginner and have just started working on your communications skill then make it your priority to read this book. It was released in 1936 and to this day it is one of the best-selling books of all time. Without wasting any time, quickly buy it and find out why this book is still such a rage.
While these books are a great headstart you cannot become a great conversationalist overnight, it takes time and practice. These books will help you steer in the right direction and will help you find your voice.